Morsomt Med Dialekter
by Valkyrie's Emblem
Summary: "Fun with dialects." In which Lukas trolls, Mikkel and Berwald slowly go insane trying to understand Norwegian dialects, Timo is confused and staying out of it, and Eiríkur passes out from laughter.


**So, while I was talking** **with my Norwegian friend, we started talking about how many different dialects there are and how Swedes and Danes can't understand most of the dialects and this was born.**

 **For the record, if you can understand what he's saying, no, it's not supposed to make any sort of sense whatsoever. Norway's just trying to mess with them.**

 **The title and first bit is in Bokmål, for the record. Title means "Fun With Dialects".**

 **By the way, don't bother trying to put most of this in a translator. You probably won't get anything and be even more confused than you were before :P.**

 **Names:**

 **Norway - Lukas  
Iceland - Eiríkur  
** **Denmark - Mikkel  
** **Sweden - Berwald  
** **Finland - Timo**

 **Disclaimer: Jeg eier ikke Hetalia.**

* * *

 **Morsomt Med Dialekter**

Four out of the five Nordics were sitting in Berwald's home in Malmö, watching TV. (It was a long story why they were meeting in Scania. Let's just say it involved Berwald and Mikkel getting ridiculously drunk and destroying some property and them being forced to bond more by their bosses.)

Their peace was interrupted by Lukas slamming the door open, an irritated look on his face.

Mikkel screamed, instinctively ducking behind the couch. Berwald tackled Finland to the floor, placing the coffee table between them and the Norwegian.

Eiríkur just picked up another cookie from the plate on the table and said, "Hæ Lukas."

"Hei," Lukas said shortly, slamming the door shut and sitting next to his younger brother, noticing the cookies on the coffee table and irritably shoveling them into his mouth.

Mikkel poked his head over the top of the sofa, eyes widening with tears as he saw all of the cookies being eaten. "Nooooooooooo! Not the cookies!"

Berwald just threw his IKEA catalog at his brother.

Timo laughed nervously at the two of them, returning to his seat. "Moi, Lukas! Where have you been?"

"Spurt meg selv hvorfor jeg fortsatt er venn med Alasdair og Aoife," he muttered, eating another cookie.

"What did they do?" Eiríkur asked out of complete boredom.

Lukas scowled, making three out of the five Nordics fear for their lives. "Jeg kan bare snakke norsk."

"Do I want to know why they did that?"

"De var fulle."

"Aren't they always?" Mikkel asked.

"Nei, det er de ikke," the Norwegian muttered. He tried getting another cookie, glaring at the empty plate when he found there were none left.

"How long 'till it wears off?" Berwald asked, sitting back next to the Finn. Lukas just shrugged, stalking over to the kitchen and getting himself some coffee.

"At least you'll mostly be able to understand each other," Timo said brightly. "I mean, Norwegian is similar to Danish and Swedish."

Eiríkur suddenly looked up, smirking. "Well, that may be right if you're talking about _Bokmål..._ "

Mikkel and Berwald suddenly stared at him in horror. "No... please no..." they muttered at the exact same time.

The Icelander's smirk just became even wider. "But the thing is, if you're speaking in dialect, it's really hard for Danes and Swedes to understand just what someone is saying."

To Mikkel and Berwald's horror, Lukas had come back in at that moment. He smirked, then said, "Filge bærfætt over harlkloka plekksle."

The other two Scandinavians started crying as Eiríkur slowly began to die from laughter.

* * *

Lukas kept it up for the rest of the evening.

Timo was actually really concerned at how much he was talking, though he was at least assured that the Norwegian was just messing with them and not really saying anything relevant, judging by the fact that Eiríkur, the only one who seemed to somehow understand what he was saying (the Finn thought it was because he had to deal with it all the time since they were siblings), had passed out at least five times because he was laughing too hard.

The real problem was that Mikkel and Berwald were slowly going more and more insane because they were trying to understand it, unlike Timo, who wasn't even bothering. He barely understood some different Swedish dialects and they were nowhere near as varied as some Norwegian ones.

"Mikkel?" Lukas asked, materializing behind said Dane, who yelped and whirled around. "Kan du jedda få å raoå i gir å homma?"

Mikkel just stood there, his expression looking like he couldn't figure out whether to be confused or to start crying. The Norwegian didn't wait for him to decide. He just pushed him out of the way and sat down.

Lukas turned to Eiríkur, who was watching him and trying to control his laughter. "Brokjan?"

"Y-yeah?" the Icelander asked, trying to keep himself from passing out from laughter again.

"Kakæ med æk."

Berwald slammed his IKEA catalog on the table, breathing heavily and looking like he really was going to kill somone, causing Lukas to turn to him and say, "Bilær og båtær de tutær og bråkær."

Eiríkur lost his battle against laughter and passed out again.

"Is the curse gone yet?" Mikkel asked before muttering to himself, "Please let it be gone..."

"Æ ist ikkje."

Both Mikkel and Berwald turned to glare at the Norwegian, who just looked at his fingernails and casually said, "Åh, æ vil ha en tel gode."

Eiríkur had woken up at that point and immediately started crying because he was laughing too hard.

"Can you stop?" Berwald asked murderously.

Lukas just stared at him and said, "Hære bære på det ænæ ære."

Mikkel threw a random book at him, which he easily caught. "Mårru breeems."

"SHUT UP OR I WILL MURDER YOU SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY," Berwald screamed, a spear materializing in his hand.

"He won't be the only one, either," Mikkel hissed, his axe appearing in his hands.

Lukas started laughing.

Yes, you read that sentence correctly.

After managing to control himself, the Norwegian said, in perfect English, "The curse actually wore off an hour and a half ago. Your reactions were far too hilarious for me to stop, however."

While the other two Scandinavians stood there, attempting to process what their friend had said, Lukas walked over to his unconscious brother and said, "I am going to take my brother with me as I make my escape. Ha det."

On that note, he teleported away.

Timo literally ran out of the house to avoid the scene that the other two Nordics would make.

Long story short, Mikkel and Berwald were dropped off on a deserted island and forced to work together to get back to civilization by their misunderstanding bosses.

They tried many times to get revenge on Lukas, but their attempts always ended in humiliation.

* * *

 **Translations: (Bokmål is indicated by a B and the dialects by a D)**

 **Spurt meg selv hvorfor jeg fortsatt er venn med Alasdair og Aoife (B) - Asking myself why I am still friends with Alasdair and Aoife.**

 **Jeg kan bare snakke norsk (B) - I can only speak in Norwegian**

 **De var fulle (B) - They were drunk**

 **Nei, det er de ikke (B) - No, they are not.**

 **Filge bærfætt over harlkloka plekksle (D) - Run barefoot over a hard frozen field**

 **Kan du jedda få å raoå i gir å homma? (D) - Can you maybe be faster you lazy bum?**

 **Brokjan (D) - Brother**

 **Kakæ med æk (D) - Bread and eggs**

 **Bilær og båtær de tutær og bråkær (D) - Cars and boats honk and make noise**

 **Æ ist ikkje (D) - I don't want to**

 **Åh, æ vil ha en tel gode (D) - Oh, I want another hug**

 **Hæ** **re bære på det ænæ ære (D) - Only hear on one ear**

 **Mårru breeems (D) - Stop messing around**

 **Ha det (B) - Bye**

 **I really hope that none of that made any sense to you :P**

 **Oh, and Hæ and Moi mean Hi in Icelandic and Finnish respectively. (By the way, Moi moi means goodbye in Finnish.)**

 **Alasdair and Aoife are Scotland and Ireland. Am I the only one who sees Lukas being friends with them?**

 **By the way, if you're thinking that you should never learn Norwegian because no one would understand you, that's not that much of a problem. Most people will understand Bokmål and will use it if you ask them something, and you don't actually have to learn dialect if you don't want to, though you would probably pick some up if you move there.**

 **You also don't have to learn a bunch of different sounds before learning anything like you do in Danish either.**

 **Anyway, takk for leser! (Thank you for reading!)**


End file.
